This will be the final post here

My new blog is
http://wordpress.hagermanstudios.com

The phrase for today is:

Presumptuous Ostentation

Brian Bartlett, you know who you are.

I'm applying to get a new job as a PHP developer in Mission, KS

Thats good news for me, Development is what I want to do, and PHP is my favorite language. I'll have to learn Perl, but that shouldn't be a significant task.  I should be getting an appointment for an interview near the end of the year.  I hope it goes well.

Its been forever since I posted, but I've had so much stuff going on at work that I haven't been able to get anything done.

I stolet this from tersal_girl

Appearance

[  ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[  ] But I also think I'm incredibly gorgeous sometimes.
[  ] I tan easily.
[  ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I've had braces or a retainer.
[x] I wear glasses or contacts.
[  ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[  ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[  ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[  ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life

[  ] I've sworn at my parents.
[  ] I've run away from home.
[  ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[  ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids/more kids someday.
[  ] I have a child or a step-child.
[  ] I've lost a child.

Embarrassment

[  ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[  ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[  ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public

Health

[  ] I have a disease/impairment.
[x] I've gotten stitches.
[x] I've broken a bone.
[x] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[  ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling

[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (StL trip)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've been to Canada.
[  ] I've been to Mexico.
[  ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[  ] I've been to Japan.
[  ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[  ] I've been to Europe.
[  ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences

[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[  ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[x] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ x I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[  ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[  ] I've been to a casino.
[  ] I've been skydiving.
[  ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[  ] I've played spin the bottle.
[  ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been snow skiing or water skiing.
[  ] I've been in a play.
[x] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[  ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[  ] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[  ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[  ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten Sushi.
[  ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships

[x] I'm single
[  ] I'm in a relationship.
[  ] I'm engaged.
[  ] I'm married.
[x] I've gone on a blind date.
[  ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[  ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[  ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[  ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality

[  ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[  ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[  ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[  ] I have kissed a stranger.
[  ] I have made out with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime

[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[  ] I've snuck out of my house.
[  ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[  ] I've cheated while playing a game.
[  ] I've cheated on a test.
[  ] I've run a red light.
[  ] I've been suspended from school.
[  ] I've witnessed a crime.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[  ] I've been arrested.
[  ] I've shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol

[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[  ] I regularly drink.
[  ] I've passed out from drinking.
[  ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[  ] I've smoked weed
[  ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[  ] I've eaten shrooms.
[  ] I've popped E.
[  ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[  ] I've done hard drugs.
[  ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[  ] I can't swallow pills.
[  ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[x] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[  ] I take anti-depressants.
[  ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[  ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[  ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[  ] I've woken up crying.

Materialism

[  ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[  ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[  ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[  ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[  ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[  ] I collect comic books.
[  ] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[  ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random

[x] I can sing well. (sometimes)
[  ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[  ] I open up to others easily.
[  ] I watch the news.
[  ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[  ] I curse regularly.
[  ] I sing in the shower.
[  ] I am a morning person.
[  ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[x] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I love being neat
[  ] I love Spam
[x] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[  ] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[  ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[  ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun. (Shotgun, and .22 rifle)
[  ] I am in love with love.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[  ] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[  ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[  ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[  ] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate
[x] I bite my nails.
[  ] I play video games. (I've been clean for 3 months)
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[  ] I'm good at remembering names
[  ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[  ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest

The Wisdom of Spam
Part 5-10

Actors die so loud.

I am always doing things I can't do, thats how I get to do them.

Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion.

You get whatever accompishment you are willing to declare.

Glory built on selfish principles is shame and guilt.

Anyone who interprets or defines your rights controls your destiny.

The Wisdom of Spam
Part 4

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

Monkeys With Typewriters
The Wisdom of Spam
Part 1-3

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

These are actual statements taken from spam.

As some of you may know I administer my own domain, which means I get to read all the emails which are sent to dead addresses on my domain.  Addresses I haven't used in years, literally.  Every so often when going through the mountains of spam I receive on these address (generally about 10 messages per day on 5 addresses) I'll come across a 'gem' stuffed inside some otherwise garbled jumble of random text, or advertizements for Viagra.

I have been compiling these for a while and I think now is the time to begin bringing these little gems to the world, cleaned off and shined up, in a segment I think I'll call:

Monkeys With Typewriters:
The Wisdom of Spam

To kick things off I'll post 1, 2, and 3 together.